Monday, 8 November 2010
bleh. dont really know how to feel. shits going on with my girlfriend and its affecting me, more than i thought it would, its just bringing back all this crap from last year which i dont want to go back to. it just feels like i can never be happy without something going wrong or happening to me. im sure many people feel like that but my problems are always on a large scale. why does everything i touch, burn away?
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
Sunday, 17 October 2010
Right, so ive been with my girlfriend for about 7 months now and about 3 weeks ago we first had sex, we both thought it was the right time and it was right. I cant help but just think what my life would be like without her, im only 16 and she is always talking about the future and im thinking: " well, we will probably not be together then" but she hates hearing that and thinks there is no reason for us to ever split up so therefore we must stay together. But, i dont want to. I love her but i i cant help but think what it would be like with another girl, what my life would be like, etc. Lately we've been bickering about a lot of things, and in the end she always blames herself really badly and starts crying and it makes me feel like absoulute shit. I cant help but feel that she does all that to make me think its my fault, when really shes quite a selfish person. Shes really selfish. And i could never say that to her, or anything to criticise because she will take it too seriosuly probably start crying and then make me feel like shit once again so im so limited to what i can say. If your reading this and thinking why dont i just break up with her? its because i do geniunely love her and i wouldnt break up with her anytime soon, but being honest, she does really piss me off sometimes.